She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
