You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
