Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
