16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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