How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he was CRYING into my vagina
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
