I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
