He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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