It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Operation Purity has been aborted
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
