But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Can I color on your dick again?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
