For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
