I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
