Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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