yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
