whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It's blow job season.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Randomize
