what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
