he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
