He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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