So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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