she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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