i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
