Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
