That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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