is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
