think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I wish I only lived at night.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
