the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
