"it" just moved
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
