Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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