how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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