Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
