And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Let's get the cat blown out
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
