Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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