Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
