when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
