Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Randomize
