dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
