I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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