You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
