I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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