I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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