when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize