Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
