i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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