I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
