you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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