They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
