he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
