idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
