On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
