He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
