I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
