Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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