I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
