my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
