There is no way he is gay with that hair.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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