I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I AM VODKA MAN
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
