I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
