you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
