We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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