I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize