Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
