at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
