im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I understand Curling. That high.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
