I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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