i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
