You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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