Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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