So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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