he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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