I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
