Why are handjobs necessary in class?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize