I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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